CK Goes To The Movies...H!P Style

Welcome to the first of initially two episodes of CK Goes to the Movies.  Now that I own a copy of just about every full-length film Hello! Project has been involved in, I felt it was time to give my reviews of each one.  This episode will focus on the "silly" H!P films.

Now a good film review program should have two people participating.  This way you have two different viewpoints of each movie.  So naturally I'm going to choose someone who has watched every film along with me, and that would be my cat, Dexter.  Ebert had Siskel, I have Dexter.  Now if I could only figure out where he is hiding!

Tokkaekko

とっかえっ娘。(2002)

Tokkaekko is by far the silliest film Morning Musume has ever done.  Although this is the one Hello! Project film I don't actually have a DVD copy of, it was the movie that most inspired me to do this post.  The first time I watched this film I totally hated it!  The basic plotline has been done a thousand times, there are mannequins playing key characters, horribly puppetry, and most of the acting is "over the top" bad, although I eventually figured out that this was done on purpose!  Charmy is a spoiled rich girl and Yossie is a downtrodden poor girl.  On their birthday their mothers (both played by Abe Natsumi) write a letter to "Magic User Aibon" pleading with her to help their children so they don't grow up to lead unhappy lives.  Aibon (Kago Ai being her adorable self) and her two companions (who look like Oompa Loompas on steroids) magically have them switch places so they can see how the other half lives.  Charmy is now endlessly waiting on her four sisters (played by Momusu 5th generation) and dodging debt collectors who are threatening to take their house, while Yossie now gets waited on hand and foot by two annoying butlers dressed like the Marquis de Sade!

Despite the dumb story, cheap sets, and questionable acting Yossie and especially Rika are really good in their respective roles.  Charmy is absolutely adorable every time she pouts for the camera.  The funniest thing about this film is the voice actor (Brother Tom?) who plays the role of both fathers.  The voice of the poor father sounds just like Stepin Fetchit!  Another highlight is the two comedians who play the debt collectors.  I don't know how accurate the subtitles were that I watched, but that sure was a lot of profanity for a Hello! Project film!  And for more off-color and sexual humor, don't miss the outakes during the closing credits.  There is a lot of Morning Musume music in this, but it is mostly used for background fill.  Over repeated viewings I began to appreciate the sheer "camp" of this film, but it is just so tremendously stupid!  I give this movie 2 1/2 of 5 stars, it would have been less, except it has a cute cameo by Country Musume singing "Hajimete no Happy Birthday".

Dexter liked the bird puppets!

Morning Cop

  モーニング刑事 - Daite HOLD ON ME (1998)

Morning Cop - Daite HOLD ON ME is Morning Musume's first feature film.  It also stars Michiyo Heike as the focal character.  The girls are all models for a teen fashion magazine called Lovely, and Michiyo is their most popular model.  All is peachy in the world until Michiyo receives some intimidating mail from a stalker.  The girls decide to take self defense lessons and go undercover to protect their friend. They also enlist the help of the "boss" of Akahibara.  The boss is the typical "Akihabara Otaku".  He loves Morning Musume and dresses as Darth Vader!  When things really begin to get out of hand, the girls retreat to an isolated house in the country for a really creepy finale.

I find the entire plotline really interesting.  The girls of Morning Musume are jealous of Heike's popularity?  Since the opposite was true in reality.  This must've been an attempt by their agency to promote Michiyo Heike.  What's also interesting is the mix of cute moments with a fairly serious theme.  I'm sure stalking is a troubling reality in the idol world, and it is quite disarming to watch the girls do a film about it.  But despite the seriousness, the film mainly focuses on the girls' personality and cuteness.  And I absolutely love Fukuda Asuka in every scene she is in.  Asuka is so adorable!  The soundtrack to this film is great too!  In addition to the above song, I love "Yoroshiku" and Heike's beautiful ballad "Tsuyoku Naranakucha...ne"

Dexter found the scenes with the stalker to be quite disturbing, but felt the overall acting intensity of Morning Musume carried the film...He also ran under the bed during the scene with machine-gunfire.

This DVD also has the greatest extra of all of the films, 20 minutes of Morning Musume frolicking around North Shore Oahu.  It is always interesting to see what kind of swimming attire the girls choose.  Yuko and Nacchi going for the skimpiest outfits, yummm!

The film gets 4 of 5 stars, the extras in Hawaii get 5 of 5 stars, as does the OST!

Minimoni Movie

ミニモニ。じゃ ムービー お菓子な大冒険！(2002)

Minimoni ja Movie Okashi na Daibouken! is by far my favorite of all of the Hello! Project films.  It is about one-third live action, and two-thirds cartoon.  But even the live action scenes have a cartoonish quality to them, mainly because of the background sets.  First generation Minimoni all work in a cake shop.  Mari the boss, Mika the chef, Tsuji and Kago are the waitresses.  They have created an amazing "castle" cake to celebrate their second anniversary in business.  Along comes the evil fairy-queen (Nakazawa Yuko) who hates cakes.  She orders her four fairy soldiers (4 KIDS) to turn all of the sweets to stone and takes over the cake as her own castle.  Complicating matters is the cat burglar (Takahashi Ai) who is intent on finding the secret to Minimoni's incredible cakes.  After a mishap with the fairy dust turns everyone into cartoon characters, Minimoni and Takahashi take on the queen in an effort to 1) get their cake back, and 2) become human again.

This movie has WIN written all over it.  It is great for so many reasons.  This is the one film that Kago and Tsuji got to act like their crazy selves.  Their reactions to Takitty when she was asking about the ingredients in the cake were priceless!  The two of them are incredibly good at mugging for the camera.  But my favorite characters had to be Sudou Maasa as the grumpy "Purple Fairy", and Hagiwara Mai as the silly "Yellow Fairy".  Mai Mai was six years old and they gave her most of the funny lines in the film!  She delivered all of them perfectly.  And Maasa's deep, gravely voice sounds amazing.  In fact, everyone did a great job in this film!  The soundtrack features some excellent music, although not many major hits.  The songs seemed to be written more around the plot of the film, making this the only true "musical" of all the H!P Motion Pictures.  I especially loved "Fushigi na Pocket" (aka The Biscuit Song).  It is such a cute moment and such a cute song! 

Dexter's favorite part of the film was also the fairies, he licked his "chops" every time they were on screen.  Dex also seems to be a fan of anything to do with food.  So as far as he's concerned, this film was great!  Good, we both agree...5 of 5 stars!!!

Tokyomexico 047

So that'll do it for this installment of CK (and Dexter) Go To The Movies.  Coming very soon we will finish the series with the "serious" H!P entries.  Pinch Runner, Nama Tamago and Koinu Dan no Monogatari.

CK in California