真野恵里菜 ~ マノピアノ, And Other New CD's I Won't Be Buying

When a new J-pop single gets released, there are a few things I personally look for when deciding to purchase the song.

1) Is the song "catchy"? Does it have a memorable hook, or does it seem to drone on endlessly for...five minutes or so?

2) Is the song fun?  This is just my personal taste at work.  I usually prefer songs that are happy and upbeat to serious works or ballads.  That isn't to say that I'll never enjoy a ballad, and I can think of many examples of "slow" songs I like.

3) Do I like the promotional video?  This is probably the least important of my prerequisites, but a good PV can take a decent song and make it a great song.  Kusumi Koharu is a great example of this.  I much prefer watching her PV's than listen to her albums.

Of the three newest singles released by Hello! Project Artists, not one of them has me running to YesAsia.com to pre-order a copy.  At least my wallet is relieved!

Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance ~ Berryz Koubou  This is probably the least objectionable song of the three I am going to be talking about.  Does it have a good PV?  Yes.  Is the song fun?  Yes.  Does it have plenty of cute closeups of the beautiful Maasa Sudou? YES!!!  The only thing I don't like about it is I don't find the song catchy or memorable at all.  Can I picture myself listening to it over and over again in my car?  No.  Chance of purchase?  I'll wait for Berryz full length CD to come out.

Papancake ~ Kusumi Koharu  To quote "Dirty" Harry Callahan, "A man's got to know his limitations"!  And Koharu's limitations lie about three octaves lower than where she is actually singing.  I don't understand why the producers continue to try and stretch her singing range far above where her strengths are.  Is it just to be cute?  Koharu has shown she is cute enough on songs like Koi Kana, Balalaika, and Hana wo Pu~n, and she didn't have to stretch her voice that high in those songs.  As far as the PV goes, it's time to mix it up a little.  Papancake's PV is very similar to Koi Kana and Chance, and it's getting boring.  Bright room, pretty dress, and Koha-chan running around playing with the props.  On a positive note, it is a good song musically.  I like the guitar solo toward the end.  It is fun, it is catchy, and the PV isn't bad.  It's just not grabbling me the way Anataboshi did.  And Koharu is always cute.  I really enjoy her personality.  Although that's easy to say for someone who doesn't have to live with her.  Don't hate it, but not buying it.

And now the song that inspired this post.  I usually like to keep negative posts on my blog to a minimum, but I just couldn't help myself...

Manopiano ~ Mano Erina  Oh my god!!!  This is a joke, right?  It might be the worst song ever to be recorded by Hello! Project.  When they first announced Manoeri was becoming a soloist, I was skeptical.  I know everyone drools all over the place because they think she is cute.  But she is barely holding the key of the song on the recorded version.  And I won't "offend your ears" with the live version posted on You Tube.  And the song isn't that great either.  They take an exciting and cute new artist and give her a melancholy song?  And how many "off-key soloists" does H!P need anyway?  I notice many people coming to her defense by noting the piano playing.  Great!  Just what Hello! Project needed, their own Victor Borge!  I have an idea, she can be the concert accompanist.  I'll listen to Yasuda Kei on the saxophone over this any day of the week.  Catchy? No.  Fun? No.  PV? None.  Chance of buying?  Maybe if there is a gun pointing at my head!  I can't imagine her solo career taking off if this is an example of what it will sound like.  Then again...

Mano Erina

Well, with that look I guess anything is possible.  If Manoeri looked at me like that I would probably become Pavlov's dog too!

CK in California